“Grown upness is wasted on grown ups.” Liam Digby, Cosmic

If I were a grow up, I would first find a way to get myself out of school. I would send an email to my teacher, saying that my mom told me to email him that I was to sick to come to school today. After that email, I would decide where I wanted to go, how I would get there, and where I would stay when I got there. Ok. What about Paris? Maybe. I could, but it would take way to long and it would probably be night time when I got there anyway. Plus, it would be way too expensive! Possibly Canada? No. To cold. Hawaii? No. That would take to long also. I know! I have a great idea! It wouldn’t be too expensive and I wouldn’t need to find anywhere to stay. I’ll stay here! Ok. Now how am I going to do this? Aha! I will get my little sister Elliott out of school by saying she had a doctor’s appointment and would be returning to school afterwards. I would pretend to be her babysitter and only be bringing her to the doctor, where she would be met by her parents there. Perfect. But first, I would have to get a car. I can get my dad’s car. I know where that is. And plus, he said he wasn’t going to go anywhere during his lunch break. Awhile later, I will have arrived at the Durham Academy Upper School parking lot. There it is. Now, how to get his keys. I sneak into his office (I know where it is, of course) and poke my head inside. Good. He is at a class and the office is deserted. And lucky for me, he left his keys sitting right in the upper hand corner of his desk, next to a tall plant. “Sorry,” I mutter, then grab them and scamper out the door. I head back to the car and climb inside. I just have to get this back to him before the school day ends and he realizes that the car is gone. I start the car and drive smoothly out of the lot down to the Lower School. (Luckily, driving and a drivers license came with this grown up thing.) Getting Elliott out of school is simple enough, though I do have to shoot her a look when she is about to comment on how I absolutely am not her babysitter and that she knew nothing about any doctors appointment. When we finally reach the car, I shove Elliott inside before she can say anything about this being our dad’s car. I quickly explain the whole matter and suddenly it hits me. I thought I was going to need Elliott to push the pedals for me but now that I am a grown up, I can reach them. “Oh well, you can come along anyway. I need the company. You can be my daughter,” I say. The rest of the afternoon is spent driving through the state, going to all the cool places that we like and never get to go to that often. Afterwards, I take Elliott back to school and tell her to zip her lips about the whole thing or I would find a way to seriously punish her that she would most definitely not enjoy. (I hadn’t figured out what that would be yet, but I’m sure she got the message.) Finally, I take the car back to the Upper School parking lot where, to my enjoyment, I see that the parking spot is still open. Then I slip back into my dad’s office unnoticed and place the keys on the floor near the side of the desk that they were sitting on, so if my dad had noticed they were gone, he would think they had just fallen off the desk. I head toward home with a smile on my face, thinking about the adventure. An adventure that the world will never know. . .

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